i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
