Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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