Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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