i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
