I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
