I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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