o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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