Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
