What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
