When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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