Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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