he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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