I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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