Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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