I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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