Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
