i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
