i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
