garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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