i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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