I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
