I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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