k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
