You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
