I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
