You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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