are you still at the devil's house?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
