so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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