i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Is it penis luge time yet?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize