Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
