i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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