her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
