I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
