Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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