When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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