Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
