i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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