Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
