it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
