So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Fuck appropriateness.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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