It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i think i just naturally attract stoners
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
