Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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