Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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