Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
