Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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