i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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