how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize