Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
