Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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