He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
