Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Welp...herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize