we're chasing vodka with high fives
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
