I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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