Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
