do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
