I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
