I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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